R: Well, that depends on whether you consider pinging your phone’s GPS stalking. Ok, guilty. But you know how I know a guy who would be interested in hiring someone with your expertise? Yeah, turns out I could really use it. Seems somebody hacked my cell phone and my laptop and my desktop.
F: Gee, that’s too bad.
R: All my data’s been replaced by audio files of porcupine flatulence. And so I was hoping that whoever did it might be willing to undo it if I apologized for misleading them in any way.